After Hurricane Comes Rainbow

Dear Diah,

Along with this message, I would to say forgive me friend. I don’t have enough time to say goodbye. I just got the delegation from our Institution yesterday. So that, now I have to go to Japan. However, don’t worry after arrive in Japan, I will call you soon.

Best Regard,

Alfin

        My life was boring before I met him. This message remind me about his aim in the future. He told me that one day on his life, he would come to Japan. At that time, I didn’t know the reason. I just guess and guess again. Why Japan and how about America. For me, America is better. I try to find some possibilities. Perhaps, the weather or the spirit of workaholic. After I talked to him about my opinion, he just smiled and went away.

        Today, one year he was staying in Japan. Right now, I am going to Japan to meet him. What will he think about? I wonder. I hope, he will be happy to meet me. On the plane, I open my diary.   

Me before You

(02 November 2014)

It will be my first and last time to cry in front of him. I don’t know why, I pleased beside him. On my 18th, I believe again in God. Believing in After Hurricane Rainbow will come

        After that day, I try to change my bad habits. I always remember his message, to change the world, you should change yourself first. Usually, I can’t wake up before dawn. I always late to Dawn prayer (Subuh). Better late than never is become a reason for me to repeat my bad habits. At the end, my parents gave up to remind me and never try again to bring me back.

        Honestly, I change myself for him for the first time. Nevertheless, I am aware that one day, after I know that he is not beside me, I will disappointed. Proven to be true, I came back on my bad habits after he is gone. After one day, unexpectedly event happens, my beloved friend, Risana passed away because of car accident. Again, God saves me and gives me opportunity.

        Step by step, I open my mind by continuing my good habit. Reading some books and trying to find some solutions of my friends’ problems. By doing so, I will feel free about the decision from God.

        I close my diary because the pilot say we almost arrive in airport. On the arriving gate, my eyes looking for him. I forget to study about Kanji’s characters. How I can find him in this place, a crowded place? While I am thinking about my fault, someone calls me. “Diah.. Diah.., over here”, this voice sounds common in my ears. Finally, I find him. Thanks God. I get this occasion to say thanks.

        On the way going to dormitory, we talk so much thing. He asks me, ”So have you found the reason?”. “Not yet”, answer me. “I doubt with my argumentation. Why don’t you give me a clue?”. I ask him again. “It will not be surprised. Should I give you a movie?” He offers me a Japanese movie. The Last Samurai, I read the title. “I ever watch this movie.” I reply him after he gives me the movie. “Really?” His sound like tell about his doubt. “Of course I know, this movie tell us about spirit of Japanese on maintaining Samurai from Western weapon. We can gain some moral values from this movie”, I added my answer. Before I done to state my argumentation, he asks me again. “How about faith of Japanese? About the high number of commit suicide here?”. I know that number of commit suicide in Japan really high, number one in the world. How it can be a reason for him to come to Japan? I almost ask him again but unluckily we have arrived in the dorm. “Think again, and you will find the best reason”, the last he said.

        I wonder, does he know about my past? Before accident happened, I ever joke to him about my decision. I feel bored with my life. Every day, with same routine in daily activities, I want to change my life. My parent often falls each other. They never aware about my condition. I need support for my life but they never express their love to me. Hopefully, one day my life will change. Until my 18th birthday, it is useless to hope that. 

        Until one day, Alvin comes to my life and makes my life different. I find something different with my routine. God, thanks because send him in my life. After hurricane comes rainbow really happen in my life. I never think that I give him spirit to fight in this life too. Because of learning my problems, he stays alive and stronger than before. I never know about his past before until Budi tells me. Actually, Alvin’s parents was divorced when he is in Seventh grade Junior High School. He finds reason why he should stay alive but he never tells me why.

       After that accident, Alvin and I become more closed. We share our problems and try to solve them. After we can find solutions, we decide to help others. Our friends maybe have same problems with us. They ever think to give up with their life. Moreover, they can think to commit suicide too. So, I think Alvin come to Japan to study more about commit suicide here. With his study and report, he wants to bring good aspiration to others. He doesn’t want in Indonesian same problems occur. After think about this scheme, a message come to me.

Each problem never be solved if we just silent. Believe in God is a good start. However, Acts is better than just think and talk. So, let’s we be better day by day by helping others.

        Again, I learn new thing. Thanks God, with him, I learn something new. With him, I become more closed with you. In our life, we once find a big problem which is can become a hurricane. How we face them wisely, it will be a good starting to find rainbow. Every decision has effect. Every choice has impact. A good starting is a must, but keep the rules is obligation also.